“The Kapiti Improvement Society has been established to act for residents and ratepayers who want to ensure the Kapiti Council becomes the best little Council in NZ. It will achieve these objectives through taking matters of concern to Council. It is already a sounding board reflecting public disquiet about the extravagant $5 million Gateway,” Spokesperson 7 said in a media release today. 

The media release is all about KIS’s new branding symbol as shown in its letterhead.

A large body of water

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Spokesperson 4 said, “KIS is wholly committed to enable everyone to flourish in a non-gender specific, non egotistical environment. Having sought and obtained advice from the world’s leading social anthropologist,  KIS, as a first step it will use the nomenclature ‘Spokesperson’ on all publicity and communications. This will ensure readers concentrate on content rather than matters ephemeral to the issue.  If they are male, they will not have to have their mind click through the neuron response to female, e.g. mother figure or sexual siren. Equally, a female will not have to have her brain neurons click through neuron responses as to whether it is a hostile male or huntsman/ protector.

“Each contributor will however have an individual ‘Recognisor.’ News releases will identify Spokesperson 2 or Spokesperson 24, for example. In this release there are Spokespersons  4 and 7.

Spokesperson 7 said, “KIS’s second step was to come up with a brand image that reflected both its commitment to the beauty of the environment and it belief that both our physical and natural environments can be transformed by passionate concern — the Greeks called it “Agape” (selfless universal love, such as the love for strangers, nature). Member number 667 came up with a bril idea, as you see from the letterhead”. 

Spokesperson 4 went on, “This is how come we have a KIS (kiss) almost transformed into the landform of Kapiti Island.”


We assume ‘Kapiti Improvement Society’ was better than ‘Paraparaumu Improvement Society.’ —Eds