from Facebook

Being a white cisgender male, I have now found I have even more labels. I used to be a Normal Person!

I used to think I was pretty much just a regular person, but I was born white, into a two-parent household which now, whether I like it or not, makes me privileged, racist, and a coloniser.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist because I plan, budget, and support myself.

I went to School and have always held a job. But I now find out that I am not here because I earned it, but because I was “advantaged.”

I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me homophobic.

I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel.

I am older than 60, making me a useless dinosaur who doesn’t understand Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat.

I think, reason, and doubt most of what the ‘mainstream’ media tells me, making me a Right-wing conspiracy theorist.

I am proud of my heritage, making me a xenophobe.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair reward according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist [this one is true —Eds].

I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort, not freedom of outcome or subsidies, which must make me a borderline sociopath.

I believe in the defence and protection of my nation for and by all citizens, now making me a militant.

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for and the many who died to let it fly, so I stand during our National Anthem — so I must be a radical.

Funny — it all took place over the last decade!

If all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, now I don’t even know which toilet to use … and these days I’ve got to go more frequently so please stand clear!”