from the Babylon Bee
AUSTIN, TX — Twitter owner Elon Musk has rebranded the popular social media app under the name “X.” This announcement came shortly after the company’s CEO Linda Yaccarino talked him out of going with his first name proposal: “69Boobies420.”
“As brilliant as Mr. Musk’s hilarious proposed name was, we decided it was not the right direction for us,” said Yaccarino to reporters. “We believe that ‘X’ perfectly captures what this company is all about, and we are all about being owned by an eccentric billionaire who really likes the letter ‘X.'”
Sources say Musk is disappointed by the decision. “He he he he 69! Get it? And who doesn’t like boobies? It’s literally the perfect name!” said a frustrated Musk on Twitter. “420! He he he he he! Classic! Come on, guys!”
Journalists reacted to the announcement in a calm and reasonable manner by looking for hidden fascist messages in the “X” logo, while PBS announced they will be pulling all episodes featuring the letter “X” from their lineup. “We’re pretty sure this rebrand by Elon Musk is sinister somehow,” Washington Post tech reporter Xondrie Finklextien “X’d” on her “X” app.
At publishing time, Musk had warmed up to the new “X” name after realizing it was the last letter in the word “sex.”