by Louisa Carroll

KCDC is known in parenting circles as the Kaprice brat, behaving like most children who are both spoiled and obnoxious. Kaprice throws her toys out of the play pen when they are tired and old. Kaprice hates them. Kaprice didn’t look after them.

Kaprice is demanding a new toy. It is something she must have right now.  The new toy is the Kaj – Kapiti’s Taj Mahal. It is a magic building. Uncle Guru and Uncle Wayne have been telling everyone this new doll’s house will stop all storms so Kaprice’s friends can go to their favourite secret island every day of the year! There will be no storms to stop them. 

Uncle Guru and Uncle Wayne have told Kaprice how to con her parents (they are Ratepayers!) Like all Mummies and Daddies they tell Kaprice ‘you should look after your toys.’ But Kaprice hates that. She pretends she has looked after them. 

She has a library in her own toy town. It no longer works. It will cost millions [$13 million to be exact]¹ to fix. Kanprice also has a Community Hall where dolls once played. 

It is now full of black mould. It will cost heaps to fix [$1.4 million]². Uncle Guru and Uncle Wayne have helped Kandice make it look as if she did try and look after her toy town. She has done a pretty mural on the library and scrubbed up the community centre house with a bit of glue and bleach. 

Kaprice is sure Mummy and Daddy ratepayer will be happy and reward her for being such a good child. She knows Mummy and Daddy are kind inclusive liberal parents and will not be like parents of old and tell her ‘Fix what you broke before you get your new Kaj.’  

Next month Mummy and Daddy are going to give Kaprice a special pre-Christmas present — a brand spanking new Kaj. And Mummy and Daddy will be glad Kaprice is so happy they will forget about those old toys which look destined for the recycling bin.

1. “Waikanae’s toxic library has a new mural, a new lick of paint and an estimated $13 million replacement bill.” –Stuff

2. “In 2019, Stuff revealed the Te Newhanga Community Centre, valued at $1.2m, needed an estimated $1.2m worth of repairs after tests discovered black mould and water-damaged infrastructure.”  –Stuff. The estimate is now $1.4 million