Alice followed the white rabbit down the tunnel and found herself in a very strange place where there was a fancy dress party in progress and lots of noise. She asked the rabbit the name of this strange place.
“Aotearoa”, he replied.
“I have never heard of that,” she said to him.
“Some man came up with the name to assist in giving Māori a history.” It’s the name of a play.
Just then a man started to stamp his feet and roll his eyes and poked out his tongue shouting and waving a stick.
“I think he is having an epileptic fit,” said Alice.
“That is the Mad Hatter”, replied the rabbit, “he always behaves like that if he can’t get his own way.”
“Golly,” said Alice, “I would be sent to my room for behaving like that.”
“Who is that lady with the big smile handing out all those piles of money?”
“That is the Queen of Hearts, she will give you some too, if you ask.”
“Golly,” Alice said again. “won’t she run out if that’s the case?”
“No, she will print more.” The rabbit replied.
“I keep seeing a smiling cat which disappears just when I want to see it better.”
“That is the ghost of Winston, enjoying the chaos he caused.”
“Who is the woman in the feather cloak, my friend Greta would be so upset to see how many birds were killed to make that.”
“Shhh,” said the rabbit, “she likes to think she is a conservationist! Don’t say anything Alice or you will be punished for hate speech.”
“What?” exclaimed Alice “for speaking the truth?”
“And I can’t say anything because I am a white rabbit, and will be accused of racism.”
“I have never heard such nonsense,” replied Alice, “colour makes life interesting and attractive, it is bad behaviour which is intolerable.”
“It is because of perceived past wrongs,” mumbled the rabbit.
“More nonsense,” said Alice, “what is past is just that, past! Not a thing you can do to change it. Just get on with things. I don’t like Aotearoa, Rabbit, I want to go back to New Zealand, where everyone was happy before I heard of all this sick thinking.”
“I will come with you Alice, I don’t see why I should apologise for being white anymore.”
“Quite right,” said Alice, “that mad queen will run out of money soon, then Aotearoa will become Blunderland!”
Thanks to Tony Orman, origin unknown.
Love this! So clever and so true.
Absolutely brilliant!! My dad and I are going to send it to heaps of people and put some paper copies in mailboxes, too. Too good not to spread it around! Thank you!!!