Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on “Wheel of Fortune.” Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.
I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
Still haven’t decided where to go for next weekend — The Living Room or The Bedroom
Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pyjamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
Home-schooling is going well: 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
This morning I saw a neighbour talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house and told my dog …. we laughed a lot.
Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to ‘’Puerto Backyarda.’’ I’m getting tired of visiting “Los Livingroom’’.
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said, “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year.”
Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under…