Watch out Russians!
From the Babylon Bee
ARLINGTON, VA — In what is sure to provide much-needed relief in military spending costs, officials at the Pentagon announced today that, rather than dropping bombs, the United States Air Force will begin dropping morbidly obese airmen on enemy targets.
“Our new relaxed weight and fitness standards play right into this decision,” said General Charles Q. Brown, Jr., Chief of Staff of the Air Force. “When we took a look at the growing American population — and I use the word ‘growing’ literally — we realized we were not utilizing all the resources available to us. So we decided to save a fortune on bombs, round up some fatties, and use them to inflict serious damage on our enemies.”