Setting: The sitting room of a secret Willy Jackson mansion in the Auckland area, on the wall of which is a big autographed photo of Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe. The media bosses, Michael Boggs of NZME, Paul Thompson of Radio NZ, Nadia Tolich of TV1 News and Chief Stuffer Sinaed Boucher, enter and hongi, then sit in fine gold fabric covered armchairs.

Sinaed Boucher: Michael, I thought you’d be in Davos.

Michael Boggs: I’m not in the wealthiest top 0.1% yet, still working on it. How are you coping without all that USAid money now?

Sinaed Boucher: I have my sources of big donations, do I need to say more?

Michael Boggs: You’re lucky being a private company; we’re on the Stock Exchange and our auditors would pick up on that sort of thing. Anyway, how did you spend the holidays?

Sinaed Boucher: I lost count of how many times I went to see the Comrade Jacinda movie. When it comes out on DVD I’m giving a copy to all my Stuffers.

Paul Thompson: I’m going to do that too.

Nadia Tolich: I did a refresher course in Neo-Marxist Racial Theory and another one on Wokeism. Anyway, are we agreed we’re all going to back Rawiri Waititi to be next PM?

Michael Boggs: Er, um, I don’t think he’s marketable, TPM is barely above 1% support now.

Paul Thompson: What about Chloe Swarbrick then?

Michael Boggs: No, she smells.

Sinaed Boucher: How do you know that? She’s a lesbian.

Michael Boggs: She’s the local MP, I get to meet her.

Nadia Tolich: I’m a very close friend of hers and she doesn’t smell.

Paul Thompson: So we’re all for Hippy Chippy?

The others; Yeah (sigh)

Michael Boggs: I wonder, are higher taxes. entrenchment of Iwi rule, hundreds of thousands of civil servants and no economic growth going to be popular?

The others: Why not?

Paul Thompson: We’re good at telling falsehoods aren’t we?

Sinaed Boucher: Of course, if I had $1 for every lie in Stuff I’d be rich.

The others: You have and you are!

Sinaed Boucher: Yes, a lot of money has come in from my donors, but I’ve had to pay my Stuffers a lot too. Somethines they’re embarrassed about what they’re expected to say. On the other hand Nadia, you left me for TVNZ because they offered you a lot more as a Far Left propagandist, didn’t you?

Nadia Tolich: No comment

Paul Thompson: We can lie as much as we like, as long as we use reliably neo-Marxist sources based overseas so the public can’t blame us.

Michael Boggs: The Media Council and the Broadcasting Standards Authority dismiss every complaint that isn’t from a Wokeist, so we can say what we like, except things Wokeists don’t like.

Nadia Tolich: Exactly, let’s celebrate that!

Sinaed Boucher: So we’re all going to work hard to get Comrade Chippy into power again!

Michael Boggs: He’s sure to reward us with a new Public Interest Journalism Fund.

Paul Thompson: Absolutely! Now, where are the refreshments? Willy must have some fine champagne and delicacies here.