Get ready for a bovine drama as Kentucky Congressman Thomas Massie is in the middle of a full-blown “cow money” sex scandal that’s hitting harder than a stampede right before next week’s GOP Kentucky primary. He was getting the milk for free, but now he’s selling his cow!

Here’s the udderly ridiculous rundown: Massie’s ex-girlfriend, Cynthia West, just dropped a bombshell video interview accusing the libertarian-leaning lawmaker of some seriously steamy (and allegedly unwanted) drama during their short-lived romance. She claims after things went south — and she got fired from a job Massie helped her land with his close pal, Rep. Victoria Spartz — she filed a wrongful termination complaint. That’s when Massie allegedly pulled out the big guns… or should we say, the big bills.

Massie is firing back hard, calling the allegations “false,” “unsubstantiated,” and the work of dirty tricksters. He says he reports all his farm income and has consulted lawyers. But the timing? Moo-vingly perfect for his opponents.

One thing’s for sure — Kentucky Republicans are paying attention, and the barnyard is getting real messy. We will have to wait til the cows come to find out!

— The GrrrTeam