Darling readers,

Just this morning I was given a preview of our Guru’s latest fashion statement for the coming political season. Out with the floral shirts the Guru so loved. Out with the clashing psychedelic colour palette.  They gave the impression of the Guru being on a perpetual holiday and being indecisive. It was time to get serious and show the seriousness of the position of Kapiti’s leading citizen. Voila!

There is so much to admire in this latest ensemble. First, the subtlety of the jacket’s gentle sky blue colour — it reflects the Kapiti skyscape to perfection. Then the verdant green of the sash — so representative of the rich pastures of Otaki.  Then the discreet use of gold braid and golden epaulets — a reminder of Kapiti’s wonderful sunshine. Then the reflective brilliance of the medals, and medallions — a genius of design — reflecting the sparking waters of the Tasman Sea on a glorious Kapiti day. (Other fashionistas may look down their snobby noses and say “mere baubles of office”. That is a cruel and unjust judgement on what is in fact the epitome of haute couture for a leading citizen).

After carrying out my extensive evaluation I have come to the conclusion this is an ensemble worthy of the highest praise. With sublimely surreptitious subtlety the ensemble encapsulates the projection of authentic authority of a master of the democratic processes.

My only criticism — the tie. Boring plain Labour Party red. What about inclusiveness? What about a tie of Maori design, representing our first settlers? Perhaps that could be included in next year’s display on the catwalk. Or a tutu?

Off to have a glass of champers; and you guys (in the non-gender specific use of that word) have one too, while adoring haute couture Kapiti style.

all my love, Louisa Carroll