Internet: “Yes but have you considered PANIC?
Breaking news:
Earth apparently started using CO₂ Minoxidil and the northern hemisphere is quietly growing its hair back while half the internet is still arguing about whether the bottle is evil.
For 30+ years scientists have been basically zooming in on the planet’s scalp with satellites going:
“Yep… that’s… uh… more trees than last time.
The boreal forest — Earth’s northern hairline — is doing the slow, awkward comeback tour:
Not Hollywood transplant-level dramatic.
But enough that if you compare photos from the 80s vs now, you go:
“…Okay yeah, that’s thicker.”
And the awkward part?
CO₂ is sitting there like the dodgy-looking supplement that somehow keeps passing clinical trials for “makes plants grow better.”
Still waiting patiently for all this CO2 to reboot my hair growth.
There’s always the option of a wig, although perhaps not so practical in Wellington winds. 🙂