from The Express

The evidence response comes as attempts are made to make the British countryside more inclusive, including by adding signs pointing to Mecca on hiking trails.

The British countryside has been declared “racist and colonial”. It’s too full of fresh air, greenery and — shockingly — white people enjoying nature. The Wildlife & Countryside Link (a conglomerate of nature enthusiasts including heavy hitters like WWF and RSPCA) submitted an “evidence response” to MPs, diagnosing the great outdoors with a severe case of “white British cultural values.”

The diagnosis? British green spaces need a diversity makeover! Suggestions included a ‘rights-based approach’ to accessing green spaces and adding signs pointing to Mecca in the Peak District (complete with bespoke outdoor prayer mats) — because nothing says ‘inclusive hiking’ like navigating by religious landmarks. With these groundbreaking measures, the British countryside can finally shed its colonial past and embrace a future where everyone can enjoy a bit of birdwatching without the pesky interference of historical context or practicality.

Read more

They might have a job getting the cows to wear hijabs, and goats might run away and hide when they see Muslims coming through. —Eds